Monday, June 30, 2008

Parenting

The joys of parenthood are many... The first time that a bundle of joy sits up by him or herself, that first step, the first tooth and the first time he or she says "mama" - oh what unparalleled joy it is to experience! My children have written me letters from time to time and I would like to share my joy with you by showing off some of their mail to me from them. My childrens' names are John Anthony (he is the oldest), Joseph Jr., Jeanine Antoinette, Jennifer Angelique and Crystin Adrian. These letters reflect how my children viewed me as their mother. I pray they are enlightening to you. Here is a letter and poem from John Anthony my oldest.

HI Mom,

Sorry for the cheap paper. Remember I told you about a poem I wrote. Here it is. I hope you like the pictures I sent. Mom I have really tried to live up to every one's standards but time is not only turning but running rapidly. Pray for me and hopefully with prayer and love we will see each other soon. I hope you like my poem. Maybe next time I'll send you a copy of my book I'm writing , one never knows. Tell Clyde "Hello". Teri says "Hi" also.

I Love you Mom.
John Anthony

Dear Love
How for the flowers bloom.
One cause is forever, our destiny is our choice. A strong heart can change many colors.
A memory can break many fools. Where time goes, life grows. A creative man is a diligent personality. Strength in life is a weakness in virtue. Greatness becomes what seldom is done. A level of life is pardoned by what is to be. Moral thoughts are prejudiced visions. An ear to the blind is morality to the seeing. Understanding is a choice not an issue to be persuaded. Will a day become a satisfaction? Will a blink become a realization? Every turn has it's own purpose, to awaken what's hidden. Our Dwelling, which is consistent to our choice of being. Twisted & Turning, but how far going.

Dear Love

John Anthony died August 26, 1995; he was 35 years old. He died of AIDS. I was his in-home caretaker.

Next is a letter from my youngest daughter Jennifer Angelique.

Hi, my Black Beautiful Gypsy Mom! How are you? I miss you! Remember when you used to wear your "proud to be black afro" on Pleasant Street? I do! You used to put a gold chain through it. Well, I have taken a page out of your book and I am wearing a mini-afro. Remember when you were here? I wore my hair natural and then I switched to wearing a perm. Well I cut the perm out again and this time I am happy with my short nappy hair. Before I only went natural I was trying to please Robert. After reading more books about our history, as well as getting to the root of my insecurities about straightening my hair - I finally grew up! July will be my anniversary for being natural for a year! Hurray! That burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I also want to say that when I was eight years old and I went to live with dad, I felt what you did was right by me which was to make me happy. How I may have turned out while staying there was not your fault. Thank you for always staying in my life! I know at times I pushed you to the limit (I apologize for being disrectful to you) but you have always made yourself available to me and my problems. Thanks Mom!
Today at work I was thinking "The next time we meet, we should go to the beach, park or whereever and sit there in silence and enjoy each other's presence." Mom, what was your favorite subject in school? What is your most favorite memory as a child? Did you ever talk to yourself when you were a child or adult like I do and did? I wonder if Kiki still has Clarissa. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever see that doll again. I gave Clarissa up when I was twenty years old which made Clarissa fifteen years old. Now seven years later, Clarissa would be twenty-two. Thanks for being my eccentric mother! Did you know Victoria is crazy about her dolls like I was about mine? Tina told me she treats them like they are real. Time is up Mom; I have to study my math. I have a test in two weeks and I have to get an "A" because on my last test I got an "F"! Of course I did not study! Take care of yourself Tomacina Ann Wuthrich!
Thanks for being my eccentric Mom.
Love,
Jennifer!

Jennifer is now 40 years old. She didn't go on to get her AA degree in Child Development but there is still hope.

Parenting is a full time job. You never stop being a parent. More on this subject and letters from my children to come (both good and bad). Please send me your comments and your questions. All comments and questions will be posted on the blog.



Here is another letter from my bygone parenting past. These are two very wonderful letters from my daughter Jeanine Antoinette who at the present time is not communicating with me... Jeanine your on!
She's pregnant letter.
10/29/95

Hi Mom & Grandpa,

Hows the 2 of you today? Mom I received your letter Thursday. It was nice to hear from you mommie. My why do you always tell me about your finances? That's not my business mommie. I'm glad you have a job but mommie you don't have to tell me all about your money. It's ok mommie, it's ok. Don't hire a maid for me; it's ok. You've done so much helping me move and that's enough. You're so sweet mommie don't go broke ok. I still love you. Well as of Friday Oct. 27th 1995 - I am on maternity leave until Feb. 1st. I 'm just gonna relax and enjoy Tori, Tino and my new arrival soon to be. I really enjoy my home alot. It's very quiet and it's mine so I'm happy. I really miss you mom. I love you so much and thank you for all you have done for me. Jody came over Wednesday and he left Friday. It was a nice visit and it was also good to have adult company. My kids are wonderful company but I enjoyed my brother's visit. Have you heard from Jennifer or Crystin? They're so far away huh mommie? I 'm still not sure on my husband's due date home from his truck driving but I do hope and pray it's sometime soon. I'm writing the letters large so you don't have to focus your eyes as much. You and Jody are always focusing. Wear your glasses mommie. Well it's almost Jennifer's birthday. Your baby girl will be 28 years old. One day my daughter is gonna be 28 years old. How do you feel mommie? You're gonna have a 28 year old baby (smile - congratulations). Victoria went to her first school dance the other day. It was a Halloween party but she wore regular clothes. My baby is growing up and I got one on the way. You're gonna have a new grandchild mommie how do you feel? Are you nervous? Are you happy, excited and thrilled? How do you classify your feeling about the new granchild ? I'm am all the above and more. Mommie I love you so much and I'll be glad to see you again. I'm glad to hear you enjoy your job and it's wonderful to have a good friend to be there when you need one. I know you don't like asking people for things that's the way I am also. Well you deserve a lot of good friends because you're a good person mommie! How do you like this strange weather? Is it gonna rain or what? I cooked beef stew for dinner and brownies - everything was good. I took my braids down and now I just have regular braids in my hair. I need to wash it but I get too tired to do a lot of things and I know if I wash it, I'll have to blow dry it and braid it again and I can't right now - maybe after the baby comes, I'll braid it back but not now. Mommie I'm so sorry I write so ugly. Well I hope you can read it. For Holloween Victoria is gonna be a witch. I told her to be something different she's a witch everyday! (smile) I had to say it mommie you know me. Tino is gonna be a Vampire. I'm gonna be the pregnant lady! (smile). Well my most beautiful mother I love you and I miss and thank you for writing to me.
Love Jeanine.
She's apologizing and promising to never not communicate with me again letter.
4/1/95

Hello Family
I received your letter today. It made me very happy to get your letter. You wrote every name I ever had on the envelope - wow - how funny. You have a good memory still - I see.
The only name you left out was Stink! (smile). I'm so glad you're happy and you and Clyde are doing so well in Oregon. It will be good to see my young & very beautiful mommie again. Happy belated Birthday and to you and Clyde happy belated anniversary. I guess that's how you spell it (smile). I was'nt the kid who won the spelling bee contest as you can see! (smile). I read your letter to my family and they were happy to hear from their grandma. Tino was smiling ear to ear when you kept referring to him as "Prince". Thank you for the invitation for the kids to come out there that's wonderful and I'm always looking for a break (smile). I'm so happy to have my mommie back in my life please don't ever leave me again. I'm sorry for the pain and sorrow I have caused you and Clyde. It really hurt not to have you in my life. One day we will be reunited and very happy like we should be. My kids need you and so do I very very much. Mom I'm gonna go out of my way to love you and to not ever fight with you again. You are the only mom I have and the only mom I will ever call mom. You have my word from now on. I will not hurt you any more because you don't deserve pain, grief and sorrow in your life. I love you mommie and I'm glad you are my mom and I'm glad you gave me time to understand things and I do, I really do understand how you feel. I love you mommie and I am gonna keep the communication lines open now and always. Your oldest daughter has grown up. I am not the same spoiled, selfish uncaring little brat that you once knew. I am now a strong, caring, giving & sharing adult. Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise not to ever take my mommie for granted any more. Please accept my apology mommie. I love you because you gave me life and you have done so much for me in my life and I hope one day I will be able to repay you for all your caring, sharing & giving and all the love you have tried so hard in the past to give me and I would'nt accept. I love you mommie please forgive me, please, please forgive me. Clyde thank you for taking care of my mom and for all the problems I have put my mom through and you were there for her to cry on your shoulders thank you for being there for my mom thanks for all you have done and thanks for all you have done and thank you for not being an abusive husband to my mom. Thank you Clyde for all you have done. I would also like to take this time to apologize to you also Clyde for being a wicked, evil & unforgiving bitch please forgive me ok. I'm sorry for all the pain you and my mom have gone through due to my selfishness. I love both of you and you guys are always in my heart and on my mind. Lots and lots of love take care and thank you for forgiving me.
Love Tina Santos

Thank you all for logging on and please send comments and questions. I would love to hear from you!
Mrs. Wuthrich Words of Wisdom

This is an in depth article that says it all... Babies Having Babies by: Jennifer Stahl and Ashley Browning. Source: Sword and Shield, Nimitz High School Newspaper. January 28-29, 2000.

It is a wonderful feeling to hold your newborn baby in your arms. It has been said that there is no other feeling like it. In many situations, the arms that the baby is held in are of a sixteen-year old or sometimes, younger. Teen pregnancy is basically, babies having babies. The issue of teen pregnancy is a highly controversial topic that is recognized more often than before. It affects many of the students that attend our school. It seems everywhere you go there is a pregnant teen. This teen parenthood "trend" is to the point of normality in high school. Although, it is quite common , we both cannot understand it. Being a teen parent can bring a burden on the teens and society.
For decades, young women have had babies. We know many girls that have been pregnant, but it doesn't change who that person is. To us, they are the same people, but they are responsible for another human being. Being a parent is a huge responsibility at any age. Once someone has a baby they are some one's parents for the rest of their lives.
It is becoming very normal to walk down the hall and see fellow classmates who are pregnant. We never think anything of it since it is part of everyday life. What does the society think of it, though? Teenagers are already viewed differently because of their immaturity, even though that's the whole reason for being a teenager. In a way, getting pregnant may give room for concern with society as a whole.
We could never even think about the possibilities of having a child at such a young age. We have high respect for those girls who have had a baby and are still in school. That seems like the hardest thing to do. Some girls that have a baby while still in high school tend to drop out because they need to raise a family. Teen mothers and fathers are not able to act as teenagers. They must mature faster and become more responsible than normal. They can't have as much fun because they have a young one at home. Like they say, you're only young once, live life when you can. Many times, the father leaves because they can't handle the pressures of being a father, but we're not saying that it is that way all the time.
When a girl gets pregnant, she does have options. We are not stating that we think a certain method is right or wrong. Not all teen mothers feel they are nearly ready to handle a baby and choose a smart and practical way to let the baby and her live good lives. Therefore, in this case the mother may choose adoption, which is a good way to give the baby a chance to be raised by a couple who are ready to be parents. If the teen mother chooses she may keep the baby. Lastly, abortion may also be an option for people who are not ready to enter parenthood.
We are not condoning teen pregnancy but if the situation was to occur there are places to help. Social service agencies can provide counseling, doctor visits and contraceptives. If you don't want to get pregnant, there are contraceptives, but they are not always effective. Abstinence is the best birth control. It is the only one hundred percent sure ways to not get pregnant. People might consider waiting to have sex until they are in a loving relationship with someone they might want to spend the rest of their lives with, which may be the case if they decide to become parents. If you're ready to have the pleasures of sex, you better be willing to face the consequences. In conclusion, we are not trying to degrade anyone that is pregnant or has been pregnant by writing this, but we are just informing the student body about the disadvantages of having children at such a young age. Having a baby is a huge responsibility that should be reserved for when you have reached adulthood and are fully ready to accept the challenges that come with being a parent.

2 comments:

vixysticks said...

Very Interesting Grandma, Can't wait to hear more. I love Uncle Anthony's poem. We got your letter, Wes will call this week.
love, Victoria

Mrs. Tomacina Wuthrich said...

Thank you Thank you, Love you, Love you! See you Sunday at the party!
Grandma